A journey back to health... Part 2: A glimmer of hope

My blood work came back normal and my MD told me there was nothing he could do to help me. 

But I wasn't giving up! After hours of research, reading books, googling, trying different products, and trying different types of doctors....I still came to dead ends and nothing was really helping.

My mom mentioned my health issues to one of her electrolysis clients (who was a chiropractor and also practiced natural medicine) and the woman gave my mom her business card.

What did I have to lose? I had to try and see.

I brought my blood work results (from my Family Doctor ) to her for our first appointment. She took a quick glance and said "Your iron is way too low!". But my doctor said it was within normal range and I was taking an iron supplement. How could that be? She said that the medical doctors have a much wider spectrum of "Normal" for blood test results. She gave me a natural iron supplement that is much easier to digest and it helped! It was called, "Ferrofood" from Standard Process!

But soon symptoms returned. I felt like I just couldn't get enough iron in my body to feel well. I went back to another doctor who had the same kind of practice and he discovered that my body was still not absorbing the iron well. So he focused on my digestive health. He got me to a certain point of healthy functioning but I never really got the full answers that I needed.

We were on the right track but the answers were not fully revealed yet.

Do you ever feel like the medical doctors are in the business of keeping us alive but not necessarily in the business of making us thrive?

Have you ever gone to multiple doctors and each of them gave you just a piece of the puzzle?

That has been my journey! Researching, discovering and trying what works for me.

I feel led to share some of those things that helped me gain back my health because maybe it will help someone else.

A journey back to health - Part 1: My health depleting

I wrote this back in 2017 but never posted it. It just didn't feel like the right timing and the doctor I went to never did end up helping me. This is just a reminder of how long this journey has been and where it all started...

"If you have known me for any length of time then you would also know me as a very active, energetic and physically strong person. I enjoy eating healthy but I also like my sweets too.

As a child, I would run circles around other kids because of all the energy I had. You would find me spending most of my days swimming in a lake, wake boarding, riding bikes and keeping up with the boys in all their outdoor adventures.

As a young adult, most of my energy was geared towards doing mission work, travelling back and forth to Africa, and living overseas.

Once married, most of my energy was geared towards working hard and renovating our home.

Once I became a mom, I started to slow down. Not because I wanted to but because I had to. 

It didn't really hit me hard until after my second child was born and I found myself so exhausted at the end of the day that I literally felt like I could pass out on the couch. I started to feel weak, not just because I worked hard that day, but because I honestly just didn't have the physical strength to go throughout my day. I had trouble with by blood pressure during my pregnancy with Micah - an issue I have never dealt with before. After he was born I struggled with constipation, weakness, and feeling light-headed frequently.  

With almost a year after Micah's birth, I felt like my body never really recovered. 

Maybe it was because I had Jael to take of as well?

Maybe it is because I am almost 30 years old? 

Maybe it is because child bearing really is that hard on your body?

Or Maybe something deeper was going on?

Not only was I dealing with exhaustion but I also had many areas of stress in my life: relationships, being a new mom of 2 young kids, work, and all the stresses that just naturally come in life. There were times that I had to call Curtis home from work because I didn't think I could physically take care of the kids. Or I skipped church because I lacked the strength to pack up the kids in the car and drive 15 minutes down the road (Curtis is a pastor so I he has to be there early)

My health got so bad that there were a few nights Curtis literally had to help me get to bed. As I closed my eyes to sleep I literally had the thought... "I hope I wake up in the morning"

And then one day it dawned on me... In the past 2.5 years I have had 2 early miscarriages, birthed 2 babies and nursed for a combined total of 2 years. What if my body is just depleted of vital nutrients?

I went to see my Family Doctor for a general physical exam where he found me to be generally healthy and we devised a plan on how to move forward in investigating the root problem.

He ordered some blood tests, told me to exercise daily and eat healthy!"

My Little Garden

My home is my garden!

It is the garden I tend to on a daily basis. It is the place where I cultivate the ground, plant seeds, water the soil, pluck weeds and bear fruit. It is a daily work, hard work. It is constant. All day and even at night. It is moment by moment. It is in the smallest moment where true growth happens.

Growth happens under the right environment. I have to ensure my environment/home, encourages growth!

What do I grow? I grow minds, hearts, little souls.... little children that will grow to be whatever they choose.

24/7 I am a mother. I cultivate 24/7. But on Monday-Friday 7am-5pm I invite other children from within the community into my home to GROW. It is called, "Little Garden Family Day Care". We are family owned and operated.

I have always wanted to be a mother .... but a few years ago I discovered that child care and working with children in general is my passion. So why not turn my passion into a career? About 2-3 years ago I had the idea to start my own in home day care where I can work and be a stay at home mom. And 1 year ago "Little Garden Family Day Care" officially launched!

It was a risk! I had a decent paying nanny job where I could take Jael with me to work. But it wasn't my dream... it paid the bills. At that same time, Curtis got a new job that allowed us the financial wiggle room for me to take the risk.

So I quite my job in the fall, enrolled in some online courses at Penn Foster University, gave myself a $500 start up fund and a goal of 6 months to launch the business. It was hard work and no pay! I had classes to take, books to read, contracts to write, accounts to open, guidelines to draw and an entire business idea to create out of nothing. And of course, a name! I wanted to capture the essence of my business within the name. Nothing seemed to fit. I prayed. I asked God. I threw a lot of names away. They were good but just not right.

Then one Sunday morning while listening to our pastor preach the name just popped into my head... with no explanation why. "Little Garden" because my home is my garden. It was perfect.

Since launching the business in January 2015 there have been ups and downs. Times that I have rejoiced and times that I have cried and considered closing it down and finding a "real job".

But I stuck with it and the results have been exciting. Children are growing. Parents are excited to see the difference in their children as they come to my day care. They are growing socially as we learn to share, be considerate and listen to directions. They are growing in their hearts as we play and laugh together. They are growing in their minds as we have "Learning Time" everyday where we work on colors, numbers, letters and more!

But as I "grow" children... I realize that I am also growing! I am growing in patience, perseverance and creativity. I am also growing in the Lord. Let's face it... there is no way around it... no matter how passionate you are about child care.... IT IS HARD! It is hard work and it is just simply hard all around. Children demand so much time, energy and attention. And in order to endure, I have to rely fully on the Lord for daily, moment by moment strength.

But the harder I work.... the more I realize. I may do everything right to tend my garden. But it is God who does the true growing. He is the one who gives Life! He is the one who makes their hearts beat, their lungs full of air, their minds function, their bodies grow and their hearts to be full. God is the source of all life. He is the source for these children and the source of my "Little Garden Family Day Care".

 "A Surrendered Heart" by Chip Coates

So from the very beginning I had to surrender the business to God. Lord whatever you want to do with this business is up to you. I give it all to you because I know that you are the Supreme Gardener of our hearts and lives.

Let's see what he does with it in year 2!

10 things I have learned since being a mom...

#10  Don't sweat the small stuff! All that really matters at the end of the day is that my baby is healthy and safe in my arms.

#9 No matter how hard the day is ... it is still a blessing! 

#8 I want others to hold my baby! (after washing your hands please :) ). I don't want her to be afraid of people. I don't want her to be so attached to me, her mother, that she doesn't go to other people.

#7 Sometimes all she wants is just someone to hold her... and that's just ok!

#6 No matter how old she gets ... she will ALWAYS be my baby!

#5 Poop! Poop! Poop! Sometimes it is hard to believe how much smelly poop can come out of such a cute girl. But after some time it doesn't even gross me out anymore. :)

#4 When people love and reach out to my baby, it feels like they are loving and reaching out to me. My love for my daughter and my connection to her runs deeper than I ever thought possible. When I look at her it feels like my heart is beating outside of my body.

#3 Being healthy is not just about being skinny. Ok, I confess! There have been seasons in my life that I was more focused on being skinny then I was in just being healthy and strong. But now that I am a mom, I realize more than ever... being healthy is about being STRONG and FIT! I need to be strong so that I can carry my baby in her car seat across parking lots. And I want to be FIT so that I can still run and play with her in the back yard after a full day of work. I want to be healthy so that I can live a full life with my baby!

#2 Never underestimate the power of a small act of kindness even to a complete stranger! I can't tell you how thankful I have become when a stranger opens the door for me when they see me coming with a stroller or when a stranger offers to help me in the public bathroom when I am changing my baby's diaper or when a family member offers to hold her so that I can finish eating my meal. Small acts have huge impact!

#1 The more I lay down my life for my daughter the easier and more joyful being a mom becomes... let me explain! When I try to take care of her while having my own focus and agenda for the day I start to notice that I get frustrated with her a lot easier. I get frustrated because she's crying and not letting me do the dishes when I want to. Or she needs a diaper change AGAIN when I am trying to relax and watch some T.V. When I focus on myself it becomes a burden to take care of her. But when my focus is on HER and HER NEEDS then it becomes a whole lot easier and enjoyable. Instead of getting frustrated at her for interrupting my schedule I will gladly put those unnecessary things aside, those things can wait because my baby needs me. Instead, I find myself approaching her with more compassion and desire to help her in any way that I can. Being a mom is ALL about sacrifice on a daily basis. But that sacrifice does not have to be a burden! It can be a joy if we have the right focus.

Our baby Girl!

Jael Victoria 

What’s in her name? Yes, her first name is very unique but it can be found in Judges 4 in the Bible. Her story is short and somewhat intense in what she did but there is more to this woman than what first meets the eye when reading through her story.

When Curtis and I read through her story we see a woman of bravery and hospitality. She was a woman who guarded her home, who would not let evil dwell within her house. She was a woman of loyalty, loyal to God’s chosen people, Israel. She was a woman of action, who would not sit idly by when faced with injustice and God blessed her for it.

Her name, Jael, means “gazelle/mountain goat”, animals who have hinds feet and are able to climb the highest on mountain tops where others are unable to go because of the difficulty of the terrain. Why is this so important? Because God will establish His Kingdom on top of Mount Zion and He calls us up the mountain to meet with Him there. (Isaiah 2:2-3) We pray our daughter would have a heart of perseverance and strength, having a desire to endure any trial that comes her way in order to truly meet with our Father in Heaven and experience His liberating presence.

Her middle name, Victoria, means “one who is victorious”. We pray that she would be victorious in life, which means to hold to her faith in Jesus, no matter what may come her way. We pray victory over her!

1 John 5:4-5
 “For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. And who can win this battle against the world? Only those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God.” 

Our home in progress!

Wow! I can't believe it has been 5 months since my last post! I feel like so much has happened since then but also at the same time I feel like not a lot has happened to update on. To sum it up short... we have been working on renovating our house and we got pregnant! :) Other than that, not much has happened.

This renovation has been intense and has consumed our lives... but we are not really complaining. We are so happy to be working on OUR HOME where we will raise our baby. We are so excited to see the dramatic transformation as we tear down walls and ceilings, totally gut the kitchen and bathroom and make it completely our own from top to bottom. But man is it a lot of work! We are doing all the work ourselves, with the guidance and help of my dad. Without his expertise there is no way we could take on a project this big.

Although it has been an immense blessing to be home owners, we have to admit that there have been times that we have grown so weary and tired, wondering if the house will ever get finished. Just this past week or so Curtis got discouraged and I had to encourage him, but then a couple days later I got discouraged and he had to encourage me. It has been busy, emotional, and exhausting. But just this past weekend God sent reinforcements to encourage our hearts, lend a helping hand and give us a HUGE jump forward in progress.

We had a painting party and a handful of individuals from our church came out to help. We were so encouraged and blessed to have them come but we were even more blessed by how hard they worked on our house. Within one day, they had helped us paint the entire first floor of our house. A project that would have taken us at least a week, they completed in a matter of hours. Our hearts were overwhelmed knowing how much time and work they saved us.

Thank you so much to ALL who helped us!!!

Now we can focus on refinishing the wood floors and working on the kitchen this next week. And then we are on the home stretch. We are so relieved knowing that we see the light at the end of the tunnel. Our house is moving forward and we will soon be in our home!

I also just want to take a moment to honor Curtis. He has been working so incredibly hard for months now and keeps so much joy in his heart. He is empowered knowing that he is building a home for our family and that knowledge gives him strength and motivation for each day. My heart is moved by how hard he works (60-80 hours a week between his full time job and working on the house). Before I got pregnant we would work on the house together all the time but now I slowly have to back away from the hard labor because it is not safe. But Curtis never complains or makes me feel bad. He just tells me to take care of myself and our baby. What an amazing man that I am so thankful for!!!

Making our house a home!

So much has happened these past couple of months! To sum it up ... we moved to Ohio near my home town and bought a fixer-upper, starter home!

But let me start by saying that it was not an easy decision to leave Maryland. In fact, we loved it! (especially for me) I loved being near my sister and forming a strong relationship with my niece and nephew. I loved living in a small town up in the mountains. And I loved my jobs. (yes I had a couple part-time nanny jobs) Maryland was so good to us and we have no regrets about moving there.

We were also doing well financially because we were making sacrifices in how we spent our money. Many of our dates nights consisted of a .99 cent ice cream cone from McDonalds and a walk in the park. If we did go out to eat, it was at the small town restaurant where we could both eat for $15 easy. Curtis and I also went through Financial Peace University and became even more focused on how we spent and saved our money. We were both working as hard as we could, making sacrifices and seeing some major results.

We were also ready to buy a house and quite paying so much in rent per month. We were ready ... to settle down in a place that we could have a starter home and where Curtis could have more opportunity to pursue his passions in ministry and a career. And the best place we could think to do that was Ohio!

Then this summer we went on our mission trip with Visiting Orphans to Uganda/Kenya and God rocked our world! We were blown away by how "at home" we both felt there and how much we loved reaching out to the children there. I specifically felt like my calling and passion in life was confirmed and couldn't wait to get my feet back on African soil. But both Curtis and I knew deep down that it would probably be years until we went back. We know that God has some work for us to do here in America first. But that doesn't mean that we can't begin preparing ourselves now and placing ourselves in a position so that when God says, "Go!" we CAN go!!!

So in order to keep ourselves in that position we decided to buy an affordable, fixer-upper house that we could easily pay off ... and we had to move to Ohio in order to do that.

It took so many months of looking but we finally got our house! We have had the keys for 2 weeks now and tackled the renovation process head on! We are doing most all of the work ourselves with the help of my mom and dad. I thank God for my dad because if it wasn't for his expertise in carpentry/remodeling there is no way we could have taken on a project this big.

 

My mom and I are actually standing where the kitchen once was ... total demo!

We are raising the ceiling. 

Here is the height before and after

It makes it feel so much bigger inside!